Motherhood So White. Nefertiti Austin. 2019. Sourcebooks. 300 pages. [Source: ARC provided courtesy of NetGalley.]
Motherhood So White is a memoir that I picked up because I wanted to see a Black woman’s experience in parenting centered. Often, conversations about parenthood are colorblind, and use whiteness as a default when parenting Black children is far more nuanced. What I read was a robust memoir that examines numerous aspects of Black parents raising Black children specifically.
As expected, Motherhood So White is deeply personal. Austin provides a great deal of detail about her own upbringing, including her complicated relationship with her biological parents and how that led to her being reared by her extended family. Her reflections on the desire to become a parent, and eventual path toward adoption, provide further opportunities to highlight parenthood from several lenses. She considers economic barriers and their impact on the nuclear family. She examines implicit biases and how they impact children’s experiences in the educational and social services systems. She also spends a great deal of time sharing her eventual experiences as a single mother to a Black son and navigating everything from her own family’s acceptance, trips to the barber shop, parent-teacher conferences, reuniting her son with his biological family, and navigating bias incidents as her son ages.
Austin’s voice throughout the book is conversational and authentic. She’s transparent about her own perceived shortcomings and insecurities, something that is often missing in conversations about parenthood, regardless of identity. It very much feels like the reader is on a journey of growth toward and through parenting with her. What is of note, however, is that the more casual tone allows her to examine issues with a more critical lens without the tone of the book turning sterile. She alludes to historical incidents and social phenomena but stops short of dropping hard data and statistics throughout the book. The effect is that it comes across as less scholarly like a textbook and feels more accessible with this approach.
What I found most interesting was her lens of being a prospective parent for both fostering and adoption. She gives a great deal of detail about the process she engaged in in California, from screening, training, placement, and more. As someone without first-hand experience in social services, I found this particularly enlightening. She clarified common misconceptions, confirmed others, but provided in-depth information at all turns.
Motherhood So White presents a refreshing and critical perspective, and should be included on reading lists for those rearing Black children. While the experience of adoption is centered, anyone who finds themselves as a care-giver to Black children should consider the perspectives Austin presents throughout this book.
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