Sometimes Sneezing Hurts. C. Sleek. 2018. 236 pages. [Source: Kindle Unlimited]
Every once in a while, I find myself down a rabbit hole on Goodreads. Such was the case when I chanced upon Sometimes Sneezing Hurts. The title alone was enough to make me pause, but the description intrigued me. A divorced bachelor … journaling? Seems like a unicorn worth reading about.
Overall, this was an enjoyable read. I mean, I started it in the evening and stayed up until 1:30am to finish it. It’s very conversational, which is to be expected of its journal format. The author finds a pretty good balance of humor, thoughtful introspection, and assessment throughout that made it easy to get invested in his adventures over the course of a year.
What really had me interested in this book was its unique-to-me perspective. I admit that I’m a serial monogamist, so the idea of dating new person after new person is almost foreign and anxiety-inducing to me. Couple that with the fact that I don’t often have in-depth dating conversations with men and there’s definitely a gap in my knowledge of current perspectives on dating. I also really wanted to get a male perspective that was honest and transparent without being shadowed by perceived judgment. What better way to do so than through someone’s journal entries that they’ve decided to share with the world.
With Sometimes Sneezing Hurts, you see the author — in his late 30s — touch on all aspects of his life — caring for an aging parent, being an involved father to a young teen, adjusting to an evolving career, exploring new hobbies, maintaining friendships, and, of course, attempting to negotiate relationships with women. Through journal entries, he recounts his day to day reflections but focuses on his dating exploits. While he attempts to get to know new women he’s met through the Tinder app, he also strives for balance in the relationships he holds with women in his not-so-distant past who include an ex-wife with whom he coparents, exes who may or may not stay that way, and the ones who seemed to just slip through his grasp.
Sometimes Sneezing Hurts is interesting to say the least. I think what resonated for me was getting a peek into someone else’s inner thoughts … the things they don’t always discuss freely with friends or family. I found the most poignant parts to be where the author was critical of himself, questioning how he got to the place he’s in, and how he can get to where he sees himself fulfilled. There are moments of frustration and self-doubt as much as there are contentment and bravado. It’s not easy to open oneself up in that way, but it happens fairly frequently here.
It’s important to note that this book is acutely focused on the author’s dating life. I was initially taken aback by the roster he juggles, and particularly how many women he was intimately involved with simultaneously. The entries, though, show reflection on the space each woman occupies in his life and/or bed, and why. Admittedly, I found it hard initially to keep track of the different women. However, this is the third book in this series, and I suspect that having background knowledge about the women would had made it easier to tell them apart. By the time the book finished, though, I was able to remember who was who and why they did or didn’t last.
What I was less prepared for was how many tidbits I’d highlight as food for thought. When I finished, I’d racked up more than 50 highlights and notes. While I didn’t always agree with the author’s takes, they were definitely interesting prompts to consider. These weren’t limited to romance/sexual relationships, either. The author addresses current events such as Colin Kaepernick’s protesting, Freddie Gray’s death, LGBT rights, and more. These were just as insightful as those about his efforts to find a partner.
Overall, I’d recommend this book. I’m personally interested in the first two, since I’m intrigued to see what happened to get the author to this stage of life. He references previous relationships often, and that detail would help clarify his decisions in this book. There are some parts that may be abrasive to some readers, particularly how he refers to and/or describes some of the women. Nonetheless, I think this is a worthwhile look into the male psyche.
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