Talking to Strangers. Malcolm Gladwell. 2019. Little, Brown and Company. 401 pages. [Source: Public library.]
I picked up Talking to Strangers with little in the way of expectations. I had a long drive, and wanted to listen to something I could concentrate on enough to stay awake. I got so much more than that with this book.
Talking to Strangers asks two central questions — why don’t we know when people are lying to us and why don’t we believe people are telling the truth? The big picture example for this book is the traffic stop of Sandra Bland in 2015. Gladwell asks what went wrong in this encounter, and then uses a host of case studies to illustrate how people make sense of the words, actions, and intentions of strangers, often highlighting the missteps and misinterpretations thad led to disastrous outcomes.
The book is both informative and entertaining in presenting various communication and behavioral theories. Gladwell shows skill in presenting both well and lesser-known situations with nuance that feels more like a conversation and less like sitting in a lecture hall. He presented the case studies with an appropriate level of succinctness while being sure to cover information that was relevant to the lens through which he was exploring. There was plenty that was new to me, particularly the truth-default theory, displacement/coupling, and alcohol myopia. I also found that Gladwell revisited well-known historical figures (Adolf Hitler, Sylvia Plath), seemingly mundane activities (judges during indictments and bail hearings, police officers patroling neighborhoods), and high-profile events (the trials of Jerry Sandusky, Bernie Madoff, Amanda Knox, and Brock Turner) to comb through these questions in a largely straightforward way.
One note I have is less of a critique and more of a content warning. Gladwell describes events in a matter of fact way that will likely come across as graphic to some. He covers at least four sexual assault/child abuse cases and describes them in detail. I was taken aback at the detail that was included. While I don’t believe it’s done in this manner to be provocative, it is something to be aware of in case that’s a dealbreaker for what someone wants to read/hear.
It’s important to note that this review is primarily for the audiobook. I was especially impressed at Gladwell’s approach to this reading. First, he is the narrator, which I feel often lends some personalization to the experience than having an actor read. What stands out, however, is Gladwell’s use of recordings to illustrate certain points throughout the book. Where available, he uses the voices of the actual people to recount their stories. There are court proceedings, audio from dashboard cameras, and with limited use, dramatizations. For me, this chopped up the monotony that can come with hearing the same voice. Moreover, there was a greater connection and impact from these sections when you were able to hear the people who lived the events in their own voices.
Gladwell doesn’t solve the issue of why encounters with strangers can be so difficult, but that’s not really the point here. Instead, he offers a great deal of food for thought for. I frequently found myself reflecting on my own perceptions of strangers and considering how I show up in those interactions and how I project intentions or other factors onto them. I thoroughly enjoyed Talking to Strangers and highly recommend it.
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